Friends and Neighbors

You've heard of the things that go bump in the night, demons, werewolves, vampires? Yes, all very scary. But take a look at this collection of creatures living within just a few feet of you all the time! I stuck some sticky traps at two small holes in my garage door and here is what I collected over 6 months. How thick are the walls on your house? Wait a second, these things are probably already inside.

Time to rise and shine for the United Fruit Line

My Dad used to yell this at me in the morning to wake me up. I HATED it! Now, I have started doing it to my son. It's involuntary, I just say it and don't realize I've said it until it's too late. Hmmm, I don't think I'm going to try to stop, someone else needs to suffer like I did. MUHAHAHHAHAAA.

Anyway, I got to thinking, where the heck did that come from, "time to rise and shine for the United Fruit Line?" So, I looked it up, turns out there is a historical society that keeps the history of the United Fruit Company http://www.unitedfruit.org/index.htm. The United Fruit Company was born on March 30th 1899 with the merger of the Boston Fruit Company and a banana fruit grower in Costa Rica. When they first began operation they supplied 75% of the bananas to the U.S. They created Miss Chiquita Banana in 1944 as a post war marketing campaign and they changed the company name to Chiquita Brands International in 1989.

OH MY GOSH, the history of this company is ridiculously interesting, I wish I could write about all of it, but I'm sure no one would read it. I had no idea that the U.S. invaded South America, Honduras and Cuba multiple times in the late 1800s and early 1900s and that there was a "banana war" between the European Union and the U.S. between 1993 and 2001! I thought I had a good education!

Still, I could not find the exact origin of the saying "time to rise and shine for the United Fruit Line." I'm totally guessing, but I bet it has to do with people on the rail distribution lines in the U.S. I will investigate further and one day, when you least expect it, I will have the answer! I know, I know, you are super anxious.

Here is some Chiquita Bananna for you (Thanks CBro): http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4922661044281754625&q=Chiquita+Banana&ei=4ANlSLnZA4Hk4AKh-bDFAg&hl=en

Mother's Milk

Today I have decided to dissect a quote I heard yesterday.

"I got my friend’s breast milk on my shirt."

Quick, what is the image that just popped into your head? That image alone was worth reading the post today, huh???

Here are some of the things I thought of:

Two cows in a cartoon waiting for a bus and one of them spontaneously lactates on the other.
A group of women in the office "Working Moms" room.

and best of all.

A warehouse full of lactating women pumping milk for sale to the general public. (Probably shouldn't post this, now someone is going to steal my idea and get rich).

Stinky, P.U!

Apparently, one of my latent super powers is being Super Stinky.

"I once heard of a SUPER STINKY POWER that lies within. They say it can hypnotize (or make one pass out). . . ." ~Anonymous

This comment was posted yesterday by someone that may actually know my secret identity! I have always wondered why people say P.U. when I go by and then I began to wonder why do we say P.U. at all????


Well, it turns out that the Latin word for stink is "puteo" and that in English there are a number of words that signal disgust, or discomfort, like "phew" and "pew." So it looks like "PU!!" came from emphatically saying "pew."

Not that you wanted to know, but now you do.

So, I was thinking, I have a rapper name, but I probably need a super hero name. Something with crazy and stinky.

Daffy Puteo! How's that sound?

Super Hero

I heard a great quote this weekend that I wanted to share with everyone.

"Otto, get your rectum off of my leg."

Also, I got a great comment on the Tornado post yesterday:

"This blog does not appear to be a tornado of craziness. Rather, it takes craziness and makes it very safe for us, which is nice. Then again, a tornado can stack two dimes. So perhaps we are so far deluded and we have not yet experienced the flurry." ~Anonymous

I had not realized this until Anonymous pointed it out , but I am a super hero. The world is blind to the craziness around them and if the veil was lifted from the eyes of the general public most would not be able to survive the shock. However, I am able to take the craziness and reveal it in a way that allows people to internalize it and actually laugh at it, rather than spontaneously combust. I mean, I knew I was special, but WOW a hero! I need a costume and I think it will have to have a cape.

Anonymous, you are very deluded and the craziness around you could still overwhelm you, but do not worry, I take my job very seriously and I assure you that I will not let that happen.

I wonder what other super powers lie latent within me that I have yet to discover!?

Storm Chasers

If your blog is named One Crazy Thing a Day and you see a tornado heading toward you what should you do? Chase it, of course! Fortunately, my wife is as adventurous as I and she was able to snap some pretty nice pics of the funnel cloud. Although we are not too smart, we are lucky. The thing went directly over our house, but by the time it got there it had broken up so all we got was a lot of wind. Here are Denise's of pictures of the tornado and some pics of me being blown away.

Chamillionaire

I figured that since I had Chamillionaire listed on my profile as one of my favorite music groups it would be a good idea to listen to some of their songs. Easy enough, just YouTube it. In case you are like me and they are one of your favorite groups that you have never actually listened to here you go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKnJg1PlIEI. Go ahead, click on the link, expand your mind.


Looks to me like the only thing I am missing is the Cadillac and then people would mistake me for Hakeem (he's the guy driving)! I guess I need some lyrics too.

First the rules of rap:

1. The person rapping is a bad ass. In this case the rapper is me so, no problem, I am a bad ass.

2. Denigrate women. No problem, women are good for .

3. Street Cred. I have plenty of street cred. One night when I was drunk I told my friends that I beat up 20 guys at the same time. Another night, when I was drunk, I cleaned an entire bathroom of regurgitated alcohol with only a knife and a spoon. All of this was nearly 20 years ago and I'm not sure it's true, but who's going to argue with a bad ass?

4. Sagging pants. Ok, I just can't, really, I can't.



So, here we go. Hard core rap!


I'm a rootin tootin bad boy



suckin on my sucker



I'll give you a kiss lady



all you have to do is pucker.



You look gosh darn pretty in



your pin strip suit.



Come watch movies at my place,



it'll be a hoot.





By the way, my rapper name, Hot Diggity.