Vent

There is no shortage of strange people in the world, I’m sure you would not have to look too far to see them in your daily life. Sometimes, the people are not really strange, but they just do things that can drive you nuts. I have decided today to document some strange people and the things they do around the office.

First, the Tea Lady. She is, let us say, unique. Very short, East Indian woman who wears gigantic, HUGE, glasses and keeps her hair as close to cropped as you can, while still being able to put on brylcreem to slick it down. She is the type who you can smile at in the hall and not get a smile in return. There is one story in particular that I think sums her up. One day an officemate of mine was heating her lunch in the communal microwave. She was sitting next to the microwave and waiting for it to finish. Tea lady walked in, put some water in a cup and placed a tea bag in it. She then opened the microwave while it was still running, pulled out my officemates lunch and placed her cup in for 2 min. When her water was heated she removed her cup and just walked out. Very nice.

Next, the maintenance people and the men’s room. I don’t know for sure why, but all the maintenance people for the building in which I work use the men’s room on my floor. It’s quite annoying; the stalls are always full of maintenance men taking dumps. Not normal dumps, mind you. These are the dumps of; I got a little drunk last night, FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS!!! Makes for a very unpleasant peeing experience. Very nice.

Finally, the coffee guy. I recently gave up one of the loves of my life, Diet Coke. I took up coffee instead. Actually, I have begun to enjoy my morning cup and because of my new habit, I have been going into the office kitchen to get a cup in the morning. There is this guy. I have no idea who he is. He definitely does not work in the department, but he is in our kitchen every morning. He brings with him a giant coffee thermos, the type you see at meetings to fill multiple cups. He takes the part of the coffee maker that you place the paper filters in, sets it on top of his thermos, puts coffee grinds in and proceeds to fill his entire thermos with coffee. It takes him about ½ an hour (I think he must put about three paper filters in because it the water drains in slowly. Hence, when I go to make a pot of coffee I have to wait on this man with his thermos. I believe that there will be future blogs about how I subtly convince coffee guy to move to a different kitchen. MUHAHAHAHAHAA.